the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize