If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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