I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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