so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
What drink are we having for lunch?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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