i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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