What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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