He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
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I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
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I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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