And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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