You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize