Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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