I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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