dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize