Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
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Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
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Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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