You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
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I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
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I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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