Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
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He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
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I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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