is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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