Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
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Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
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I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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