we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Randomize