I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize