can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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