Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
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So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
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Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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