I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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