3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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