Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
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I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
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My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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