im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize