What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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