Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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