my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize