I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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