I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
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It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
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He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize