I cannot find my penis.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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