my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize