We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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