He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize