ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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