I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize