I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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