Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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