I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
love makes seman taste better
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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