I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize