I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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