i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize