So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize