i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
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Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize