Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
And then my night got REAL pukey
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