She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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