he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
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Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
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I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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