Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
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She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
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It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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