Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i just google imaged poop.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
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So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
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Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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