Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize